he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
