ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
