Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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