I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
