dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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