What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
