The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
