It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
