i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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