sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
