She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
