In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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