He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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