you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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