i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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