I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
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He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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