i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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