Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize