haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
