69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
