Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
