Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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