Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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