So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
