Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
