remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
