I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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