Apparently you make a good broom.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
