Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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