As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
