She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize