My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
