He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
