After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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