Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
