Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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