I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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