Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
