Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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