Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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