He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
