If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
