I seem to have left my pride at pride
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
