Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My legs feel like baby dolphins
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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