I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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