It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
