That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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