oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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