Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
