Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
