I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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