You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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