now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
