I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
