I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
