They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
